Do You Hate Me?
by Lady Monozuki
Summary: One-Shot: He had left Ryoma. But now, he can't get him out of his mind. He's just afraid that Ryoma hates him. Some Tezuka/Fuji, but Fuji/Ryoma in the end.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.**

Lady Monozuki: I was organizing my documents and found this one-shot I wrote months ago. I hope you enjoy!

_Do you hate me for leaving you?_

Fuji stared out the window, watching as the rain poured from the sky. A flash of light briefly lit the sky, before disappearing and followed by a low rumble in the sky. The apartment felt empty, even though his current lover was in fixing them a quick breakfast. He was lonely, even though he had the comfort of another. He did not know why he felt this way. He had a perfect lover, a perfect place, and a perfect job. What more did he need?

"_Are you sure this is going make you happy?"_

He tried to block out the sadness in the golden eyes that night. He didn't know why the memories of Ryoma kept popping in his mind. It had been a year and a half. However, they kept resurfacing. He had moved on from his relationship with Ryoma. So why did he always go back to what he once had? The door to the room opened and he pulled himself away from the window. Kunimitsu walked in, carrying a tray of food for both of them. He faked a smile. It was far too easy to pretend that he was completely happy.

_No, you are happy. This is why you broke up with Ryoma._

They ate breakfast in silence. It was custom and far too comfortable for the both of them. He was content with it though. They rarely delved into their feelings; he believed that they didn't need to. They were happy and could understand each other without much effort.

"_You can't lie to me. I know when something is wrong. Does it have to do with us?" He flinched. "So it is about us."_

"_I don't think we belong together," he whispered. He ignored the squeezing of his heart. He believed it really was for the best._

"_Syuusuke," Ryoma said quietly. He tried to block out the obvious hurt in Ryoma's voice. "Syuusuke, is that what you really think?"_

"_It is."_

"Syuusuke," Tezuka called. He looked up at his lover, shoving the thoughts to the back of his mind. "You're distant today. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he lied.

"_I know you better than anyone."_

Ryoma would have never stood for that answer. He reminded himself that he was no longer with Ryoma. Tezuka leaned in and kissed him. He returned it, but still allowed his thoughts to wander. It wasn't uncommon for him to do this. His mind always seemed to return to the one person he had moved on from. Why did it always go back to Ryoma? He had a better life now.

_Then why do you think of him when he hates you?_

He knew the answer. Fuji had hurt Ryoma in several ways. However, he had never regretted any of them, until now.

"_Ryoma, the truth is that I'm in love with someone else."_

"_Tezuka?" Ryoma asked._

"_Yes," he replied. "We've been seeing each other secretly."_

_He watched Ryoma desperately try to keep the tears from falling. "You cheated on me, again." He thought he had imagined the last word because it was so soft._

"_Yes."_

"_Tell me, was Tezuka before or after you slept with Atobe, Sanada, and Yukimura?"_

"_You knew about them?"_

"_I'm not stupid Syuusuke. You were happier when you hooked up with them. It just hurts that you were never satisfied with me."_

"Syuusuke," Tezuka said, breaking off their kiss. "What are you thinking about?"

"You don't know?" he asked in a distant voice.

"No, I hardly ever know what you're thinking."

_This is not what you want. You had what you wanted._

"And foolishly let it go," he whispered.

"Syuusuke?" Tezuka asked.

"Kunimitsu," he started. "What do you think of this relationship?"

He stared at his lover, waiting for an answer. He could not read the other's expression like he used to be able to. He no longer felt the same connection that they once had. In fact, the only time he was able to feel it was when they had first got together. It felt as though they had spent a year and a half trying to recreate what was once there.

"I think we're both happy."

"Do you really? Syuusuke asked. "When we entered into this relationship, we had just broken up with our exes. Are you really over Atobe?"

"Why are you bringing this up now?" Tezuka asked.

"Answer the question, Kunimitsu." He knew he was being demanding, but he needed to know.

"No," Tezuka answered finally. "What about you and Echizen?"

"I thought I was, but I know I'm not."

Silence elapsed between them.

"What now?" Tezuka asked.

"Now, we move on with our lives. Or rather, try to get what we once had back," Syuusuke replied. "I'm sorry to have wasted a year and a half of your life."

He stood up and headed out the door. He knew what he needed to do. He just hoped that it wasn't too late.

_Do you hate me for leaving you?_

Fuji stood in front of an apartment, banging on the door mercilessly. It had taken him an hour to figure out where Ryoma was currently staying. With every second that passed, he could feel the hope of getting back together with Ryoma slipping away. Had he made another mistake? The door to the apartment opened, revealing the man that had never been far away from his thoughts or heart.

"Syuusuke," Ryoma whispered in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Fuji stared at the younger man. Only a year and a half had passed, but it felt so much longer. He wanted nothing more than to embrace Ryoma and stay like that forever.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I thought I had the answer, but I realized that you were the answer."

He noticed that Ryoma moved his left arm behind his back and avoided his eyes. Fuji didn't continue on with his speech, he reached and grabbed Ryoma's left arm. He watched as the other flinched and tried to pull away. However, he kept a firm grip. Slowly, he rolled up the sleeve. Bandages, stained with fresh blood, went from the wrist to the elbow.

"Ryoma," Syuusuke said, his voice faltering a bit. "What happened?"

Ryoma didn't answer. Fuji knew perfectly well what his former lover had done to himself. He pulled the other for a tight hug.

"I'm sorry to have caused you this much pain," he whispered. "I'm sorry that I left you alone in the first place. I know I have no right to ask you. I know that I have no right to be here. Do you hate me for leaving you?"

"No," Ryoma replied. "I hate that I was not enough."

"You're wrong, Ryoma. You were enough. I just let myself be blinded by what I thought was good for me."

He could feel Ryoma shaking in his hold. He held on tighter. He wouldn't fail Ryoma again. He had already done that once.

"Please tell me that I can still be a part of your life."

"You always will be, Syuusuke."

He pulled apart from Ryoma and gave him a long kiss. Ryoma returned his kiss. He knew then that Ryoma didn't hate him. Ryoma had been waiting for him to come back.

~End~


End file.
